Virtual Methodist

A simple sketch that I wrote some time ago and have used in a variety of settings. It looks at our responsibility to pass on the good news that has been passed on to us... 2 actors in track bottoms, running shoes and sweat shirts stand on stage looking at an 8 inch aluminium baton.
A: What is it?
B: I’m telling you I don’t know... I can’t even remember where I got it from...
A: Maybe its for looking through... a telescope that’s lost its lenses..?
B: Or how about a hi-tech truncheon... for keeping the peasants in order?
A: Or an objet d’art... an artistic curiosity...
B: Yes... A nominee for the Turner Prize
A: Just look at the clean lines,
B: The unpretentious unity of form
A: Summing up the three-dimensional linearity of life
A & B: No....
B: A reject from a boomerang factory... (throws baton off stage)
Sorry Missus... (A goes to get it & comes back pretending to be a dog holding the baton in mouth)
A: (Taking it out of his mouth) A stick for a higher class of dog to fetch...
B: A dog fro…

Over recent years North Down has been regularly referred to as the “Gold Coast” because of it’s relative affluence in comparison to the rest of Northern Ireland, leading some to say that the only social division in the area is between the "haves and have-yachts". But now it seems as if the term “the Gold Coast” may have some basis in fact, due to the results of an unparalleled geological survey revealing that the area has the conditions which suggests that there may be seams of gold in the local bedrock.
Local residents seem divided over whether this is a good thing, but Nigel Dodds, the local minister for enterprise, trade and investment, is unsurprisingly, very upbeat about the possibilities this raises for the local economy… perhaps more so now that the signature project at the so-called Titanic Quarter has failed to gain the 25 million pounds lottery funding it was angling for under the “Living Landmarks Programme.” It remains to be seen as to whether this rejection will …

With apologies to John Bell and Graham Maule of the Iona Community's Wild Goose Worship Group, who devised this Jesus/Peter format, this is a dialogue I wrote to go along with the third part of the "Lost for Words" course on faith sharing, by CPAS.

Jesus: Peter...?
Peter: Yes, Jesus?
Jesus: Is there something wrong?
Peter: I’m just thinking about those stories you told us...
Jesus: Which ones Peter? There are quite a few…
Peter: You know… those ones about the foolish shepherd and the careless housewife…
Jesus: The what? I don’t remember those ones Peter…
Peter: You know, the ones where they managed to lose a sheep and a coin and then had to spend ages looking for them...
Jesus: Trust you to look at it that way...
Peter: Well, my Dad taught me to look after my things so I wouldn’t lose them… So I like to know where things are… I can’t stand carelessness…
Jesus: And that’s good… Wouldn’t want you misplacing the keys to heaven…
Peter: What?
Jesus: Never mind...
Peter: Anyway, I can’t und…

Once upon a time there was a man with no sense of personal discipline who started a blog on a social networking site... But it was a useless site (just take a look at the URL at the bottom of this page to see why) and due to lack energy to sort it out he gave up on it... But now he's decided to start again on a different site and be a bit more disciplined this time...
Sorry about the third person stuff there... a bit of a Caesar complex... Anyway this blog will be an online archive of stuff I have written elsewhere for various reasons, bits and pieces that have inspired me and occasional rants about various things... The material will include sketches, monologues, songs, articles, essays, mostly on theological issues, but occasionally straying into other fields too. If anything is of use to you, feel free to use it liberally, though please do acknowledge the source... Anything that I quote on this blog will be suitably cited, if possible, so that the appropriate person or persons c…