Virtual Methodist

This long, rambling poem/monologue is the product of sleeplessness, reading a fictional account of the death of Jesus and Clive James's self-penned poem about impending death written in 2014, but widely shared last night on social media in the light of his demise. Please don't seek to compare this to his piece -  there is simply no comparison. He was a genius, and I do not use that word lightly. Also I should also say that the characters in this piece are not anyone living, dead or dying, although it is obviously influenced by my experience. I am also, not dying (I think) at least not imminently, so don't worry about me any more than you usually do... Has it come to this? I’ve been in this hospital room many times, Or if not this one, many like it. Ministering to others. Praying prayers that neither the dying Nor their companions could hear Over the din of impending death. Reading words from a book That many of them think Is as dead as they soon w...

A wee while back I posted a piece on Facebook by American Pastor Gary Brinn, purporting to be a list of "Secrets that your Pastor Can't Share in a Sermon" . It's a variation on a theme that has been doing the rounds of the internet for years (and probably existed in print form before that). I suggested, and then rapidly retracted the suggestion, that maybe I would publish my own list... Well, after sober reflection (?) here are a few things that, were I an electronic device, would be printed in 6 languages on a large piece of paper; no-one ever reads them but most users work them out eventually. By the same token, most of my congregation have worked most of these out with me, whether or not I have explicitly stated them... however many of them probably apply to others, and might help anyone unfortunate enough to end up with me as their cleric in the future: 1) Your jokes about me only working one day a week are not funny... not even the first time round... and ...

My morning routine once I hit my desk is, check mail, check email, schedule tasks for the day, then run my eye over the news on my internet homepage, and any blogs that I have bookmarked, an eclectic mixture of sport, politics and religion. It isn't often that the news stories in my varied strands overlap, but this morning a story was flagged up on both my football gossip column, and religious world news, and that is that BBC pundit and former Chelsea and Newcastle midfielder Gavin Peacock is moving to Canada after he has done his stint commenting on the Euro 2008 finals, to do further theological study in preparation for a career in the church. Not being into "celebrity Christians", I didn't actually know that he was one, but he's already done his stint as a "Songs of Praise" presenter... although these days you only have to have been to church once for a flower festival to be touted as a regular church-goer by the BBC. But Gavin has apparently been a C...