Skip to main content

Donald Where's Your Solemnity?


Yesterday I promised to tell you the story of the unfortunate juxtaposition of and Andy Stewart song and a cremation. And before I begin let me assure you that it is 100% true, or if not then I have been the gullible subject of the greatest sick joke in undertaking history.

Anyway, a couple of years ago I was conducting a funeral at the crematorium as I had been doing alarmingly frequently, and I arrived there to find the undertaker giving the gentleman responsible for the crematorium a hard time. When they noticed me I asked what they were talking and laughing about, only to be told this story:

Apparently the day before there had been a funeral at which the bereaved family had handed the undertaker a home-produced CD of an old gospel standard (I think it was "The Old Rugged Cross" but I cannot be certain) recorded from an LP, to be played during the service. However, the crematorium had recently been renovated and new technology had been introduced, including a CD player that was particularly snooty about playing poor quality home-recorded CDs. When one of these was introduced into the multi-changer, if it couldn't read it, it simply skipped to the next CD.

So when it came to reading this particular CD the system rejected it and went to a CD that was still lying in the machine from the previous service. This had been the funeral service of an elderly gentleman who had served in one of the Scottish Regiments, and the family had asked that Andy Stewart's "Scottish Soldier" would be played. That service had gone without a hitch, but the CD had been left in the machine.

So when the machine could not read "The Old Rugged Cross" or whatever it was in the next service, it simply skipped on to the first track in the other CD, which was Andy Stewart's greatest hits...

So instead of playing "The Old Rugged Cross" the bereaved family heard the first track on that album: the immortal "Donald Where's Yoor Troosers?"

Apparently, they were not best pleased!

ps. If you would like to support Children in Need you can buy a copy of the Bandaged CD which includes a version of "Donald Where's Yoor Troosers?" by Ken Bruce and the mysterious Ask Elvis (whom I know personally!). But I wouldn't play it at a funeral!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Psalm for Harvest Sunday

A short responsive psalm for us as a call to worship on Harvest Thanksgiving Sunday, and given that it was pouring with rain as I headed into church this morning the first line is an important remembrance that the rain we moan about is an important component of the fruitfulness of the land we live in: You tend the land and water it And the earth produces its abundance. You crown each year with your bounty, and our storehouses overflow with your goodness. The mountain meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are filled with corn; Your people celebrate your boundless grace They shout for joy and sing. from Psalm 65
3 comments
Read more

Living under the Empire... (2) Where is Babylon?

We were driving back from school last week, talking about books that we had been reading and my younger son, Ciaran, asked me "Where is Babylon?" I have to confess that my history is better than my geography, and I said that it no longer exists as an inhabited city, but its ruins were to the north west of the current capital of Iraq, Baghdad. When I checked however, I discovered that it is actually about 50 miles south of Baghdad and the modern town is the administrative centre of the province of Babil... But just as the modern city is but a shadow of the historic capital of 2 ancient empires, first under Hammurabi in the 18th century BCE and then the "Neo-Babylonian" empire (under Nebuchadnezzar etc) in the 6th century BCE, so the earthly Babylonian empire/s was/were fleeting in comparison to the enduring metaphorical idea of Babylon. The original Empire under Hammurabi was probably the ultimate origin of some of the early Biblical stories, including the ...
2 comments
Read more

A Woman of no Distinction

Don't often post other people's stuff here... But I found this so powerful that I thought I should. It's a performance poem based on John 4: 4-30, and I have attached the original YouTube video below. A word for women, and men, everywhere... "to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known." I am a woman of no distinction of little importance. I am a women of no reputation save that which is bad. You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances, Though you don’t really take the time to look at me, Or even get to know me. For to be known is to be loved, And to be loved is to be known. Otherwise what’s the point in doing either one of them in the first place? I WANT TO BE KNOWN. I want someone to look at my face And not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears; But to see all that I am, and could be all my hopes, loves and fears. But that’s too much to hope for, to wish for, or pray for So I don’t, not anymore. Now I keep to myself And by that ...
2 comments
Read more