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| “Old Man in Sorrow (On the Threshold of Eternity)” by Vincent Van Gogh (1890) in the Kröller-Müller Museum, Otterlo, Netherlands |
Some of you may be aware that for a number of years now I have posted pieces of art from all sorts of sources on social media as a reflection on the Revised Common Lectionary readings, weekly during "ordinary seasons" and daily throughout the major festivals (Advent, Christmas, Lent and, where we currently are, Easter).
During the early days of lockdown I used these posts as a jump-off for reflections that I hope helped people through those difficult days (I was just watching another drama series last night that was referred to that period and again I found myself slightly traumatised by it... tho' as I will elaborate, yesterday was probably not the day to be watching such things...) but on the whole I have left the pictures to speak for themselves with no explanation or exposition. I have absolutely no training in art history or appreciation, and far less actual ability. It is simply a different form of "lectio divina" for me, and I hope it might make others think or, sometimes, brighten up their day.
I would doubt that today's post would do the latter. To explain, it was largely prompted by the opening lines of today's set Psalm:
let my cry for help come to you.
Do not hide your face from me
when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.
For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn like glowing embers.
My heart is blighted and withered like grass;
I forget to eat my food.
In my distress I groan aloud
and am reduced to skin and bones.
Psalm 102: 1-5 (NIV)
In the light of this the attached painting came almost immediately to mind. My knowledge of Dutch is even more limited than that of Amanda Holden (apparently last night one of last night's hosts of the overblown Eurovision coverage cast a bit of shade on Ms Holden's Brit-populism in playing down her knowledge of either Dutch or French last year - but I only know this from social media as I will avoid the whole thing like the plague), but the painting has various titles in English... the one that most resonated with me was “Old Man in Sorrow (On the Threshold of Eternity)” The artist's own mental health history is clearly embedded in each brush stroke.
This, together with a documentary on the mental health of young men by local boxer Carl Frampton, brought to my attention by one of my 4 Corners friends given Carl's fabulous interview last year and a piece from a few years ago I came across yesterday by Aisling Bea, who is not my favourite comedian, but offers an important insight into her own feelings and the experience of those who have to deal with the suicide of loved ones, all coalesced on a day when my usual Tuesday fug was deeper and darker than usual for various (largely avoidable, self-generated) reasons. Thankfully I am self-aware enough now to know that this is a passing thing, and take the appropriate steps to make sure it passes more swiftly and without the worst of consequences. But in the past it was a close-run thing.
Mental wellbeing is something that we all need to pay attention to, as much as our physical health, but especially those with "pre-existing" or "age-related" conditions. Because depression and anxiety, whilst particularly prevalent among young men in Belfast and elsewhere at present, can affect all of us... Young women wrestling with the inappropriate pressures regarding body image that are imposed on them. New mothers facing the particular challenges of looking after another totally dependent human being, whether or not they are formally diagnosed as having "post-natal depression". Middle aged men coming to terms with changes in role in family and society. Older men and women coping with the radical challenges of aging... with or without the increasing problems of dementia, be it their own, or that of loved ones, and the attendant financial pressures that brings, especially in Northern Ireland where no additional financial support is offered, unlike the rest of the UK (and that was pre-protocol/Windsor Framework for all those interested in equal citizenship!).
Whatever age or stage we are at, it is too easy to see present challenges as insuperable and never ending. As many suicide prevention charities remind us, we should never let a temporary challenge trick us into imposing a permanent hurt on those who love us.
It is vital that when we find ourselves "on the threshold" that we step back and talk to someone.
And for those looking in, it is vital that we simply ask "How are you? Really, how are you?" That can be enough...
On the threshold of eternity,
Past triumphs are unimportant,
The future is blank and bleak,
All that exists is the pressing
Present moment
And it is hell.
You are alone in the picture;
You are alone in the picture;
Everyone else driven away
By the demons in your head.
You stand at the door and knock
And knock, and knock
But no-one hears.
Old or young, man or woman
Old or young, man or woman
Can be captured in this pose,
Where nothing, and no-one
Else exists except your anguish.
And so perhaps
You should just go.
But you are tethered to others
By a unseen umbilical and to
Step across that threshold
Will drag others with you
Into the void
with no return.
The passing present is not forever,
And forever is not eternity.
Outside the frame you will find
Others who see and love you
And an artist
Who hears your pain.
And so perhaps
You should just go.
But you are tethered to others
By a unseen umbilical and to
Step across that threshold
Will drag others with you
Into the void
with no return.
The passing present is not forever,
And forever is not eternity.
Outside the frame you will find
Others who see and love you
And an artist
Who hears your pain.
Selah
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