Virtual Methodist

Next Sunday is Pentecost, the Birthday of the Church. It is also Aldersgate Sunday/Wesley Sunday in Methodist churchianity, and as of last year it is also the day when we in Ireland are supposed to remember the Methodist/Church of Ireland Covenant, AND its our local church anniversary and Presidential visit... So my head might be addled by the time I get that far... But I thougth I would post this wee skit for anyone looking for something for pentecost. I wrote it years ago and posted it in the early days of this blog. It's based on Ephesians 4: 7 which says: "Christ has given each of us special abilities—whatever he wants us to have out of his rich storehouse of gifts." (The Living Bible) All:             (Standin in a line and singing)  Happy Birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... 1:              Happy Birthday...  (Offering gift to number 2 out of a sack of gifts) 2:       ...

                What follows is a short skit that could introduce the bit of Mark Gospel that this week's recommended lectionary reading ( Mark 6:30-34, 53-56 )  misses out, ie the Feeding of the 5000. It was adapted for a Northern Irish context and idiom from the original "Nice Rolls" by Jonathan Mortimer, now Vicar of All Saints Parish in Peckham , in his  CPAS booklet, "See What I Mean?" Young man and an older woman are standing eating baps/rolls Man :         Nice baps Mrs! Woman :   I beg your pardon young man!? (folding arms) How dare you !? Man :         No, sorry… (holding out bap) I meant these… Woman :   Sorry… I thought you were being rude… Man :        No… Not at all… Have you any idea what’s in them, Mrs? Woman :   I’m not sure. Fish I think... Man :...

A sketch for children requiring 2 readers, 2 builders, 4 children acting as “walls” for the wise builders house, all the same size with small umbrellas, 4 “walls” for the not so wise builders house, of various sizes with napkins, 2-4 children acting as “rainclouds” armed with water pistols. Reader 1: There was once a wise builder… Builder 1: Good morning! Reader 2: And a not so wise builder Builder 2: Bout ye! Reader 1: And one day Reader 2: Both of them decided to build a house Reader 1: The wise builder studied the plans Reader 2: Tested the ground carefully Reader 1: And dug the foundations deep down on to solid rock Reader 2: He built slowly and carefully with the best of materials Reader 1: Because he wanted his house to last Reader 2: Meanwhile the not so wise builder Reader 1: Got started as quickly as he could Reader 2: He built his house on a nice level piece of sandy ground Reader 1: And he used anything he could get his hands on Reader 2: So he could get finished as soon as ...

It's that time again so here is a sketch I wrote for Pentecost a few years ago. It's based on Ephesians 4: 7 which says: "Christ has given each of us special abilities—whatever he wants us to have out of his rich storehouse of gifts." (The Living Bible) All: (Singing) Happy Birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... 1: Happy Birthday... (Offering gift to number 2) 2: O thanks... (taking gift and putting it straight down behind him) 1: Aren’t you going to open it? 2: Open what? 1: The gift! 2: What gift? 1: That gift! 2: Where? 1: There! 2: I don’t see any gift? 1: There... I just gave to you... 2: No you didn’t... 1: Yes I did... 2: Don’t believe you... 1: Oh I give up! All: (Singing) Happy Birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... 1: Happy Birthday... (Offering gift to number 3) 3: O thanks... (taking gift and ripping off paper... finding tambourine) Amazing just what I always wanted... (starts banging it without any sense of rhythm... ...

A simple sketch that I wrote some time ago and have used in a variety of settings. It looks at our responsibility to pass on the good news that has been passed on to us... 2 actors in track bottoms, running shoes and sweat shirts stand on stage looking at an 8 inch aluminium baton. A: What is it? B: I’m telling you I don’t know... I can’t even remember where I got it from... A: Maybe its for looking through... a telescope that’s lost its lenses..? B: Or how about a hi-tech truncheon... for keeping the peasants in order? A: Or an objet d’art... an artistic curiosity... B: Yes... A nominee for the Turner Prize A: Just look at the clean lines, B: The unpretentious unity of form A: Summing up the three-dimensional linearity of life A & B: No.... B: A reject from a boomerang factory... (throws baton off stage) Sorry Missus... (A goes to get it & comes back pretending to be a dog holding the baton in mouth) A: (Taking it out of his mouth) A stick for a higher class of dog to fetch.....