The 10 Amendments


A dialogue written for a new series on the Ten Commandments, with apologies to Riding Lights and countless other groups and writers who have written similar pieces:

Voice 1: I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other Gods before me.
Voice 2: For a good hour or so every Sunday...
Voice 1: You shall not make for yourself an idol...
Voice 2: Various exemptions include, money, material goods and your favourite football team...
Voice 1: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain...
Voice 2: Except when you fall over and smash something really valuable...
Voice 1: Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy...
Voice 2: To keep it wholly free from anything you don’t really want to do…
Voice 1: Honour your father and your mother...
Voice 2: Until they become impossibly senile.
Voice 1: Do not kill...
Voice 2: Your friends... Unless you've got a really good reason, a reasonable alibi and a decent lawyer.
Voice 1: Do not commit adultery...
Voice 2: Unless it really is true love this time.
Voice 1: Do not steal
Voice 2: It's so demeaning, and anyway, sharp businessmen never call it that nowadays...
Voice 1: Do not lie
Voice 2: If being economical with the truth can achieve the same results.
Voice 1: Do not covet...
Voice 2: But that only applies to your neighbour's ass... Nothing to do with wanting to get your hands on his Beemer... Nothing to do with keeping up with the Joneses and everyone else in the street...
Voice 1 You must love the Lord your God and keep his commandments...
Voice 2 Well, 4 out of 10 would be good...

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