Skip to main content

Happy Re-Birthday to Me... or Jesus Wrecked my Life


Thirty years ago this very day, I made one of the key decisions of my life.

At the last night of the "Alan Walker Crusade to the 80's" in the Grosvenor Hall, Belfast I made the conscious decision to follow Jesus... I was born again... converted... saved... whatever term you want to use for it... It wasn't particularly dramatic (certainly not on a par with that of St. Paul, as depicted here by Michaelangelo, or with many of those who do the circuit of churches and conferences telling the story of their conversions) and actually it was only one waypoint on the routemap of my journey of faith... The issue of what direction I should go had been bubbling within me for almost a year, and was based upon years of attending church... and it was followed by a number of key decisions and changes of direction... But I have no doubt that it was probably the most significant life-changing decision of my life...

Whilst I was probably not as reluctant a convert as C.S. Lewis claims to have been, I have certainly, at times, been a reluctant, and relatively poor disciple... Either because of the cost of discipleship and my reluctance to pay it, or because of frustration with some of my fellow disciples and my lack of grace in dealing with them... However, I have also been blessed with wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, who, both before and after that decision on the 1st June 1980, have gently (and not so gently) pointed me in the way I should go.

But it was only recently, in reading Shane Claiborne's autobiographical book "The Irresistible Revolution" that I came across a quotation that properly expresses my feelings about following Jesus from that fateful night in the Grosvenor Hall. Most people speak about their "conversion" and subsequent life of faith in glorious terms... one victory after another... onwards and upwards... And there have been times when I have twisted my story to fit that established pattern... But this is how Shane Claiborne expresses his experience:

'I know there are people out there who say, "my life was such a mess. I was drinking, partying, sleeping around... and then I met Jesus and my whole life came together." God bless those people. But me, I had it together. I used to be cool. And then I met Jesus and he wrecked my life. The more I read the gospel, the more it messed me up, turning everything I believed in, valued and hoped for upside-down. I am still recovering from my conversion.'
Let's get this straight... I was never cool (certainly not as cool as Shane Claiborne, then or now)... and by the time I made a decision to follow Jesus hadn't got around to the "drinking, partying, sleeping around" phase... but I did have my vision for my life "together" and my subsequent reading of scripture and the leading of the Spirit has pulled all of that apart at the seams... And continues to do so... I was not simply converted 30 years ago... I am being converted even now... And God alone knows what the finished product will look like...

Labels:

Comments

Craig L. Adams said…
Thanks for the personal witness. It's always an encouragement to read words like this.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 6:47:00 AM
Anonymous said…
Happy Birthday! There are plenty of times when it would be a lot easier not to be a Christian, and I don't think I looked like a mess before I made Christian faith my own. Inside was a bit more ambivalent. But I have to put my hand up as one who is in the 'reconstruction' phase - it's a long-term project! But it's worth it.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 9:01:00 AM
Anonymous said…
Cool Post
Happy (re)Birthday
Tuesday, June 01, 2010 2:12:00 PM
Anonymous said…
Great Post, It's very interesting to read about your journey, after becoming a Christian when I was about 15, I didn't quite know what I'd let my self in for and slowly slipped away from faith and made some very bad choices, however I really feel during the past 6 months I'm on a journey to re-establish my relationship with Christ. Watch this space ........................
Thursday, June 03, 2010 11:45:00 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Woman of no Distinction

Don't often post other people's stuff here... But I found this so powerful that I thought I should. It's a performance poem based on John 4: 4-30, and I have attached the original YouTube video below. A word for women, and men, everywhere... "to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known." I am a woman of no distinction of little importance. I am a women of no reputation save that which is bad. You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances, Though you don’t really take the time to look at me, Or even get to know me. For to be known is to be loved, And to be loved is to be known. Otherwise what’s the point in doing either one of them in the first place? I WANT TO BE KNOWN. I want someone to look at my face And not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears; But to see all that I am, and could be all my hopes, loves and fears. But that’s too much to hope for, to wish for, or pray for So I don’t, not anymore. Now I keep to myself And by that
2 comments
Read more

Psalm for Harvest Sunday

A short responsive psalm for us as a call to worship on Harvest Thanksgiving Sunday, and given that it was pouring with rain as I headed into church this morning the first line is an important remembrance that the rain we moan about is an important component of the fruitfulness of the land we live in: You tend the land and water it And the earth produces its abundance. You crown each year with your bounty, and our storehouses overflow with your goodness. The mountain meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are filled with corn; Your people celebrate your boundless grace They shout for joy and sing. from Psalm 65
3 comments
Read more

Anointed

There has been a lot of chatter on social media among some of my colleagues and others about the liturgical and socio-political niceties of Saturday's coronation and attendant festivities, especially the shielding of the anointing with the pictured spoon - the oldest and perhaps strangest of the coronation artefacts. Personally I thought that was at least an improvement on the cloth of gold canopy used in the previous coronation, but (pointless) debates are raging as to whether this is an ancient practice or was simply introduced in the previous service to shield the Queen from the TV cameras, not for purposes of sacredness, but understandable coyness, if she actually had to bare her breast bone in puritan 1950s Britain. But as any church leader knows, anything performed twice in a church becomes a tradition. All this goes to show that I did actually watch it, while doing other things - the whole shooting match from the pre-service concert with yer wumman in that lemon-
2 comments
Read more