Skip to main content

It's Not My Fault...

28/2/13 Tonight I was speaking at the Church Resources event at the Ramada Hotel in Belfast, largely on the monologues that I write based on Bible stories... I said that most of my material is to be found on this site, and then discovered that the first one that I used as an example, wasn't... well it is now, because this is it... 
2/3/2020 Today, just over 7 years later, I returned to this blog post because of a series of #LentArt posts on social media reminded me about it. The image attached to this post is the image I shared as part of that exercise, Keith Vaughn's 1946 "Cain and Abel" which is part of the Tate Collection. Vaughn was a conscientious objector in the Second World War and this probably "colours" this poignant image. What I like about it is that unlike many other classical renderings of this story which either picture it mid-assault or with Cain fleeing the scene of the crime, here Cain is pictured holding the body of his brother, with distress disfiguring his face. Perhaps it is this physical manifestation of his guilt that is the "mark of Cain".)

Its not my fault! 
He had it all. I mean I was the eldest, but Mum and Dad paid no attention to me. What he wanted though, he got. He was a spoiled brat. I never got a moment's peace from the day and hour he was born. If I wasn't being asked to do things to help Mum with him, he was traipsing around after me. Although I suppose he didn't have anyone else to play with. 
But as we grew up he had it easy. I was the one expected to do the farming. It was me who blistered my hands and broke my back ploughing the fields and reaping the corn. Him... well he decided to become a shepherd. Spent all his days traipsing across the countryside, lying out on the hillside under the shade of trees when the sun got too hot, while down in the valley there was me, digging a drainage ditch. He always had it easy! He was Dad's favourite, Mum's favourite, and God's favourite! Always was... good luck just rolled his way all the time! It wasn't fair.
Then harvest there took the biscuit... We both decided to offer a special sacrifice to God. It was my idea first, but of course he had to be in on the act... I brought some sheaves of corn and some of the fruit from the orchard, and laid them on the altar. Then along comes Mr. Perfect with a lamb... one of the firstborn he said... What a waste! And yet God accepted his offering and not mine. Then God gave me a lecture about not scowling at my brother. What did he expect!? I could cheerfully have killed the wee upstart there and then. 
But I didn't. I decided to put it behind me and go straight back to work, so I was for going out to the fields... I even invited him to go with me. 
But as we were walking through the field he started talking about the offerings again, asking why mine wasn't accepted, was it the offerings themselves, or my attitude or something else... And that was it. I'd taken as much as I could stomach, and I turned round and I told him exactly how I felt about him and Mum and Dad and God and his offerings... And I was so angry I hit him, with the spade. And I hit him again and again and again...
And then the questions started. Cain, where's Abel? Have you seen your brother? Do you know where Abel is? What is this? Am I his keeper?

Selah

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living under the Empire... (2) Where is Babylon?

We were driving back from school last week, talking about books that we had been reading and my younger son, Ciaran, asked me "Where is Babylon?" I have to confess that my history is better than my geography, and I said that it no longer exists as an inhabited city, but its ruins were to the north west of the current capital of Iraq, Baghdad. When I checked however, I discovered that it is actually about 50 miles south of Baghdad and the modern town is the administrative centre of the province of Babil... But just as the modern city is but a shadow of the historic capital of 2 ancient empires, first under Hammurabi in the 18th century BCE and then the "Neo-Babylonian" empire (under Nebuchadnezzar etc) in the 6th century BCE, so the earthly Babylonian empire/s was/were fleeting in comparison to the enduring metaphorical idea of Babylon. The original Empire under Hammurabi was probably the ultimate origin of some of the early Biblical stories, including the ...

A Woman of no Distinction

Don't often post other people's stuff here... But I found this so powerful that I thought I should. It's a performance poem based on John 4: 4-30, and I have attached the original YouTube video below. A word for women, and men, everywhere... "to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known." I am a woman of no distinction of little importance. I am a women of no reputation save that which is bad. You whisper as I pass by and cast judgmental glances, Though you don’t really take the time to look at me, Or even get to know me. For to be known is to be loved, And to be loved is to be known. Otherwise what’s the point in doing either one of them in the first place? I WANT TO BE KNOWN. I want someone to look at my face And not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears; But to see all that I am, and could be all my hopes, loves and fears. But that’s too much to hope for, to wish for, or pray for So I don’t, not anymore. Now I keep to myself And by that ...

Psalm for Harvest Sunday

A short responsive psalm for us as a call to worship on Harvest Thanksgiving Sunday, and given that it was pouring with rain as I headed into church this morning the first line is an important remembrance that the rain we moan about is an important component of the fruitfulness of the land we live in: You tend the land and water it And the earth produces its abundance. You crown each year with your bounty, and our storehouses overflow with your goodness. The mountain meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are filled with corn; Your people celebrate your boundless grace They shout for joy and sing. from Psalm 65