However, such high-minded ideals take a
bit of work... Reconciliation with one another requires a process that includes the recognition
that our enemies are human beings... and loving such enemies may
not be an instant thing... especially when that enmity has cost us and ours
dearly.
So when EBM offered to host an evening with Jo Berry and Patrick Magee we
were keen to accept, and as we bounced around possible titles for the event we
stumbled on "Listening to your Enemies." Listening may not be loving,
but it is a first step on what may be a long journey.
I have to say that much of what I heard that night from Patrick Magee was
not easy to listen to, and I will return to some elements of that… But I have
never lost someone close to me in this conflict. Jo Berry has, however, and I
was genuinely inspired by her desire to make meaning of her pain by preventing
others experiencing the same through dialoguing with the person who had killed
her father and others.
At the event Pat Magee said that meeting with Jo was very difficult for him
having killed her father, but that that meeting was the first time that he ever
felt that someone from "the other side" had actually listened to
him... And that her willingness to listen "disarmed him” - an interesting
choice of words given his defence of the legitimacy of the armed struggle,
one of the things I will return to again… Was this true? Had no-one genuinely listened
to Magee and his like before? I’m not sure – and I’d have to have a discussion
with Pat Magee myself to explore that further, something that isn’t likely to
happen in the near future (though I am open to it). But if it is true then why was it left to someone
who had already suffered so deeply to forge the way for the rest of us?
For her part, Jo said that the process helped her to get beyond labels like
"terrorist" and "soldier" to the point she could actually
call him "friend." That was difficult to hear, and I am sure it
must be more difficult for those who also suffered at Magee’s hands, but have
not been able to follow the same path of engagement as Jo… including people
like Norman Tebbit, who feel that she has betrayed her father.
But her comment immediately brought to mind Abraham Lincoln's rhetorical
question when he was asked why he was pursuing a policy of reconciliation with
his erstwhile southern enemies:
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make them my friends?"
A member of the audience subsequently quoted the same question, and it also appeared
in the chapter of Dave Tomlinson’s wee book “I shall not want” that I read later
that night (strange timing). Tomlinson was writing about the line in the 23rd Psalm that
speaks of God preparing a table “in the presence of my enemies.” I like many,
and like the Psalmist probably intended it, always read that as God preparing a
feast for us, while our enemies look on, starving… But a wider reading of
scripture tells me that whilst the Psalmist may have intended it that way, God
doesn’t. Tomlinson goes on to refer to Desmond Tutu, who argues that if we are
to really understand that God loves all of us, we must recognise that he also loves
our enemies. He quotes Tutu saying:
“God does not share our hatred, no matter what the offense we have endured. We try to claim God for ourselves and our cause, but God’s love is too great to be confined to one side of a conflict or to any one religion.”
But coming back to what I said yesterday, that also means that God doesn’t
just love those “inside the room” but those outside, who didn't want to
listen to anyone like Pat Magee and didn't want anyone else to listen to him either...
and yet, as former Red Hand Commando Jim Wilson said from the platform in
Skainos that night and the next morning on Radio Ulster, the irony is that they themselves do not
feel listened to.
Listening must be a multi-directional process... It was important not only
for Pat Magee to be listened to but also for him to listen to Jo Berry... as
well as others in that room who had painful stories to tell... But
we need to find a way for those outside the building to hear and be heard
too... And know that they are heard... That is the conclusion that the director
of Skainos, Glenn Jordan ultimately comes to in his typically thoughtful and measured blog post on the subject.
But let me make a final point, which is that I think we got the title wrong…
We were too timid.
I still wouldn’t argue for us going the whole hog and advocating
that we love our enemies… That’s where I hope we will get to, but that was not
the purpose of the night. No, what I am arguing for is that we don’t talk about
listening to “your” enemies… But listening to “our” enemies… Hence the title of
this post is not the title of the event… Listening to, and ultimately loving
enemies is not something for someone else to do. It is particularly not
something that we should call on victims to do vicariously for us. It is our
responsibility, whoever our enemies might be and whatever they might have done…
Gladys Ganiel, in her perceptive reflections on the event on Slugger O'Toole, asks who are we listening to and suggests that we only tend to listen to those we already agree with. But as I commented to one friend who objected to the event taking place, if we don't listen to those with whom we disagree, then why should anyone ever listen to us?
When I next return to this theme, I'll be exploring whether we also got the time and place wrong for such a listening exercise...
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