Back in ancient history I was first prompted to start a blog because people were asking for the text of a monologue I wrote based on the story of Jonah, Indeed the avatar for that blog was me, seaweed strewn emerging from a Dublin fountain... A few years later that blog moved across to this platform and the avatar and Jonah got pensioned off. But for the "summer season" this year at Belfast South Methodist, I thought I would dust him off again, and draped in bladderwrack taken from Mahee Island on our Celtic Spirituality Pilgrimage yesterday, he re-emerged in the Agape Centre this morning... So here is the first of a 4 part "Journey with Jonah."
You
just wouldn't believe it! The week I've had. It all began with a message from
God... Recorded delivery, so I couldn't even pretend it had got lost in the
post. It was addressed to Jonah, Son of Amittai, Prophet of Israel... That's
me... But I was in no way ready for what was inside. It said "Dear Jonah,
I would like you to go and tell the people of Nineveh to change their wicked
ways." Signed The LORD, Capital L, capital O, capital R, capital D.
Nineveh!
I mean... that’s in Iraq… and I don’t have to tell you what it is like there...
But it was then that I remembered that I hadn't had a holiday for a while...
This prophesying lark is very tiring you know, so I popped off to the local
travel agent to see if they had any last minute cheapies... Saw just what I
wanted! Tarshish on the southern Spanish coast... Sun, sea, sand, sangria and
not a Ninevite in sight... So I booked my ticket, headed off to Joppa where I
caught the boat, and hit my bunk. Took a couple of sea-sickness tablets...
Never was the best of sailors... and went to sleep...
It
seemed like only a few minutes but the next thing I knew, the captain was
shaking me saying "Wake up! Wake up!" I thought, how nice of the
captain to wake me in person... But then I noticed that the boat was having
difficulty deciding which way was up. We were obviously in the middle of a
storm. No cooked breakfast for me, I thought.
But
then the captain said "Are you a religious man?"
"Well,
yes," I replied.
"Well,
then get up and pray to your God to save us, we've tried everything
else..."
To be
honest, I didn't really feel like praying. First, its hard to pray when you're
about to throw up. And second, I wasn't convinced that God and I were still on
speaking terms.
But I
got out of my bunk and went up on deck to find out what was happening. I
expected to find the sailors splicing the mainbrace, or weighing the anchor, or
shivering their timbers or whatever sailors are supposed to do in a storm...
But I found them drawing a lottery to decide whose fault it all was...
Well, I
thought I was safe enough... Never won a lottery yet... It could be you... Not
likely... At least not until this time. The lucky winner was, Jonah, son of
Amittai. All their eyes turned towards me. "Look guys, I can explain"
I said, "I'm on the run..."
"Who
are you on the run from? What did you do?" they asked, with a sailor's
usual relish for a good, and hopefully bloody, story.
"Well,
it's more what I didn't do. I didn't obey God and go to Nineveh... I'm on the
run from God, who made the land and the sea."
"Well
it seems like you've made him pretty angry," said one of the sailors.
"What are we supposed to do?"
"Well,
I suppose you could throw me over the side, if you want. After all, it's only
me that God is after..."
I said
it half joking, as a matter of form, but before the words were out of my mouth
they had me up on their shoulders ready to throw me into the sea. The last
thing I remember them saying is a prayer "God, forgive us if he's
innocent, if not, he's all yours..."
And
with that they threw me into the sea... no lifejacket, no rubber ring, no
nothing... It was now a straight choice between God and the deep blue sea.
But you
just wouldn't believe what happened next...
But
that can wait... I've got to get out of these wet clothes, and stop dripping on
this carpet. I'll tell you the rest later...
Shalom
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